Relationships
The Psychology of Anxious Attachment
We might expect that the most natural response to being told by a kind, patient and attractive person that they…
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Anxiety
How to Sleep Better
Our 3am awakenings are signs that we have repeatedly not been doing the sort of self-reflection we need to do in order to be at peace.
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Anxiety
How and Why We Catastrophise
A mind prey to catastrophic thinking can never picture any solid steps between the present and the very worst scenarios — only and always just a direct line.
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Anxiety
On Being ‘Triggered’
To overcome our triggers is to come to navigate the present with all the confidence and excited curiosity that should have been ours from the start.
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Relationships
The Psychology of Avoidance
One of the most perplexing of all our behaviours is our tendency – in relationships – to flee from the…
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Relationships
Changing Yourself Rather Than Trying to Change Your Partner
We know – of course – that they urgently need changing. Where do we start with the problems? They are…
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Relationships
A Chance to Be Bad in Relationships
It sounds odd to suggest that one of the things we may most long for, and in a sense even…
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Relationships
Four Kinds of Sexual Deviancy and What They Really Mean
We don’t typically imagine that sexual deviants have very much to teach us about anything. We tend to read of…
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Calm
Keep Going
Giuseppe de Nittis, Winter Landscape, 1880 It’s early morning in the middle of winter and we’re in a northern suburb…
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Relationships
When One Person Has to Be Needy so the Other Can Feel Invulnerable
Sometimes, without anything being explicitly said, couples come to certain remarkably awkward and sinister agreements between them about who might…
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Relationships
Offering Love to Someone Who Is Not Convinced of Their Loveability
There are distinct challenges around trying to offer love to someone who isn’t convinced that they are, deep down, worthy…
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Relationships
Using AI to Have Better Relationships
It’s understandably daunting to be invited to rely on a machine to do something that, throughout our lives, we’d believed…
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Select themes
Relationships
The Psychology of Avoidance
One of the most perplexing of all our behaviours is our tendency – in relationships – to flee from the…
View
Relationships
Changing Yourself Rather Than Trying to Change Your Partner
We know – of course – that they urgently need changing. Where do we start with the problems? They are…
View
Relationships
A Chance to Be Bad in Relationships
It sounds odd to suggest that one of the things we may most long for, and in a sense even…
View
Relationships
Four Kinds of Sexual Deviancy and What They Really Mean
We don’t typically imagine that sexual deviants have very much to teach us about anything. We tend to read of…
View
Calm
Keep Going
Giuseppe de Nittis, Winter Landscape, 1880 It’s early morning in the middle of winter and we’re in a northern suburb…
View
Relationships
When One Person Has to Be Needy so the Other Can Feel Invulnerable
Sometimes, without anything being explicitly said, couples come to certain remarkably awkward and sinister agreements between them about who might…
View
Relationships
Offering Love to Someone Who Is Not Convinced of Their Loveability
There are distinct challenges around trying to offer love to someone who isn’t convinced that they are, deep down, worthy…
View
Relationships
Using AI to Have Better Relationships
It’s understandably daunting to be invited to rely on a machine to do something that, throughout our lives, we’d believed…
View
