Relationships
The Psychology of Anxious Attachment
We might expect that the most natural response to being told by a kind, patient and attractive person that they…
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Calm
On Feeling Manic
Many of us are prone to slip into states of mind we might call ‘manic’ – in which we run obsessively and at high speed away from something within us that asks for our attention and yet feels intolerably raw and overwhelming.
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Calm
Might I Be Feeling Lonely Rather Than Worried?
We might ask a question of our mood that sounds deliberately and provocatively strange: Might I principally, at heart, be lonely rather than worried?
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Calm
The Ecstatic Joy We Deny Ourselves
What if we didn’t always have to be as sad and as anxious as we usually are? What if we surrendered to loving and to being loved?
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Relationships
The Psychology of Avoidance
One of the most perplexing of all our behaviours is our tendency – in relationships – to flee from the…
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Relationships
Changing Yourself Rather Than Trying to Change Your Partner
We know – of course – that they urgently need changing. Where do we start with the problems? They are…
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Relationships
A Chance to Be Bad in Relationships
It sounds odd to suggest that one of the things we may most long for, and in a sense even…
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Relationships
Four Kinds of Sexual Deviancy and What They Really Mean
We don’t typically imagine that sexual deviants have very much to teach us about anything. We tend to read of…
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Calm
Keep Going
Giuseppe de Nittis, Winter Landscape, 1880 It’s early morning in the middle of winter and we’re in a northern suburb…
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Relationships
When One Person Has to Be Needy so the Other Can Feel Invulnerable
Sometimes, without anything being explicitly said, couples come to certain remarkably awkward and sinister agreements between them about who might…
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Relationships
Offering Love to Someone Who Is Not Convinced of Their Loveability
There are distinct challenges around trying to offer love to someone who isn’t convinced that they are, deep down, worthy…
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Relationships
Using AI to Have Better Relationships
It’s understandably daunting to be invited to rely on a machine to do something that, throughout our lives, we’d believed…
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Select themes
Relationships
The Psychology of Avoidance
One of the most perplexing of all our behaviours is our tendency – in relationships – to flee from the…
View
Relationships
Changing Yourself Rather Than Trying to Change Your Partner
We know – of course – that they urgently need changing. Where do we start with the problems? They are…
View
Relationships
A Chance to Be Bad in Relationships
It sounds odd to suggest that one of the things we may most long for, and in a sense even…
View
Relationships
Four Kinds of Sexual Deviancy and What They Really Mean
We don’t typically imagine that sexual deviants have very much to teach us about anything. We tend to read of…
View
Calm
Keep Going
Giuseppe de Nittis, Winter Landscape, 1880 It’s early morning in the middle of winter and we’re in a northern suburb…
View
Relationships
When One Person Has to Be Needy so the Other Can Feel Invulnerable
Sometimes, without anything being explicitly said, couples come to certain remarkably awkward and sinister agreements between them about who might…
View
Relationships
Offering Love to Someone Who Is Not Convinced of Their Loveability
There are distinct challenges around trying to offer love to someone who isn’t convinced that they are, deep down, worthy…
View
Relationships
Using AI to Have Better Relationships
It’s understandably daunting to be invited to rely on a machine to do something that, throughout our lives, we’d believed…
View
