Calm
When We All Lived in Villages…
Of course, back then, when we all lived in villages, there were some grave problems. It was hard to get…
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Calm
On Feeling Manic
Many of us are prone to slip into states of mind we might call ‘manic’ – in which we run obsessively and at high speed away from something within us that asks for our attention and yet feels intolerably raw and overwhelming.
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Calm
Might I Be Feeling Lonely Rather Than Worried?
We might ask a question of our mood that sounds deliberately and provocatively strange: Might I principally, at heart, be lonely rather than worried?
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Calm
The Ecstatic Joy We Deny Ourselves
What if we didn’t always have to be as sad and as anxious as we usually are? What if we surrendered to loving and to being loved?
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Relationships
How We Encourage the Behaviour We Feel We Deserve
We tend to assume that people are either very nice to us – or not – according to certain fixed…
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Relationships
Why We Should Treat Dates Like Job Interviews
Few things could sound as offensive and unromantic as to draw comparisons between hiring an employee – and getting together…
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Relationships
Can Our Partners Change?
In many relationships, we may find ourselves asking, with continually renewed frustration, puzzlement and pain: ‘Why can’t they change?’ We…
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Relationships
How to Work Out the Level of Emotional Maturity of Prospective Partners
Part of the difficulty of forming good relationships is that we can’t easily tell what the level of emotional maturity…
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Relationships
The Mark of True Love: Simplicity
We humans have an immense appetite for complicated things. Neuroscience, astrophysics and molecular biology of course. But also barely decipherable…
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Relationships
Eight Rules for Ending Relationships
We live – many of us – in highly policed societies where sanctions exist for the most minor infractions. We…
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Self-Knowledge
How We Respond When Life Gets Frustrating
Life is inherently filled with frustrations but how we interpret these frustrations – what we take them to mean, who…
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Relationships
The Psychology of Anxious Attachment
We might expect that the most natural response to being told by a kind, patient and attractive person that they…
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Select themes
Relationships
How We Encourage the Behaviour We Feel We Deserve
We tend to assume that people are either very nice to us – or not – according to certain fixed…
View
Relationships
Why We Should Treat Dates Like Job Interviews
Few things could sound as offensive and unromantic as to draw comparisons between hiring an employee – and getting together…
View
Relationships
Can Our Partners Change?
In many relationships, we may find ourselves asking, with continually renewed frustration, puzzlement and pain: ‘Why can’t they change?’ We…
View
Relationships
How to Work Out the Level of Emotional Maturity of Prospective Partners
Part of the difficulty of forming good relationships is that we can’t easily tell what the level of emotional maturity…
View
Relationships
The Mark of True Love: Simplicity
We humans have an immense appetite for complicated things. Neuroscience, astrophysics and molecular biology of course. But also barely decipherable…
View
Relationships
Eight Rules for Ending Relationships
We live – many of us – in highly policed societies where sanctions exist for the most minor infractions. We…
View
Self-Knowledge
How We Respond When Life Gets Frustrating
Life is inherently filled with frustrations but how we interpret these frustrations – what we take them to mean, who…
View
Relationships
The Psychology of Anxious Attachment
We might expect that the most natural response to being told by a kind, patient and attractive person that they…
View
