Calm
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Leisure
Why Small Pleasures Become a Bigger, Not a Smaller Deal, the More We Suffer and Age
The more challenging existence as a whole becomes, the more we may appreciate what remains pure and hopeful, despite its modest appearance or lack of obvious glamour.
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What Should a Good Therapist Do For Us?
It can be hard to get a clear sense of how therapy actually works and what we would ideally gain from it. We propose that a good therapist should do the following:
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What We Might Learn from the Dandies of the Congo
One is dressed not in order to be practical for the long-term, but in order to look awe-inspiringly beautiful today: to brighten one’s surroundings and gladden one’s friends and colleagues.
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Of course, back then, when we all lived in villages, there were some grave problems. It was hard to get…
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Relationships
How We Encourage the Behaviour We Feel We Deserve
We tend to assume that people are either very nice to us – or not – according to certain fixed…
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Relationships
Why We Should Treat Dates Like Job Interviews
Few things could sound as offensive and unromantic as to draw comparisons between hiring an employee – and getting together…
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Relationships
Can Our Partners Change?
In many relationships, we may find ourselves asking, with continually renewed frustration, puzzlement and pain: ‘Why can’t they change?’ We…
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Relationships
How to Work Out the Level of Emotional Maturity of Prospective Partners
Part of the difficulty of forming good relationships is that we can’t easily tell what the level of emotional maturity…
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Relationships
The Mark of True Love: Simplicity
We humans have an immense appetite for complicated things. Neuroscience, astrophysics and molecular biology of course. But also barely decipherable…
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Relationships
Eight Rules for Ending Relationships
We live – many of us – in highly policed societies where sanctions exist for the most minor infractions. We…
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Self-Knowledge
How We Respond When Life Gets Frustrating
Life is inherently filled with frustrations but how we interpret these frustrations – what we take them to mean, who…
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Relationships
The Psychology of Anxious Attachment
We might expect that the most natural response to being told by a kind, patient and attractive person that they…
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Select themes
Relationships
How We Encourage the Behaviour We Feel We Deserve
Relationships
Why We Should Treat Dates Like Job Interviews
Relationships
Can Our Partners Change?
Relationships
How to Work Out the Level of Emotional Maturity of Prospective Partners
Relationships
The Mark of True Love: Simplicity
Relationships
Eight Rules for Ending Relationships
Self-Knowledge
How We Respond When Life Gets Frustrating
Relationships